bob loblaw's reblog blog

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what it is like to live with an anxiety disorder

blankslate:

1.
no one ever congratulates you
for doing the really difficult things
like driving on the freeway or getting out of bed or
staying alive

2.
every friendship you make is a countdown
to the moment
when they finally can’t deal
with the missed calls and canceled hangouts
every friendship is on a timer
every friendship expires sooner,
not later

3.
you hear phrases like “bootstraps”
over and over
until you wish you had some to hang
yourself with

4.
you have to learn to simultaneously
relax your muscles
and move them with determination
you have to be in control
and you have to let go
at the same time
it’s enough to drive you into
a blubbering mess

5.
music is a conduit
crying is a conduit
your dad calling is a conduit
everything becomes a conduit
for either having or not having another panic attack

6.
you learn to stop making plans
because you’ll either disappoint yourself
or someone you care about or both

7.
you accept all of it

8.
you hope someday everyone else can
accept it too

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secondseal:

The shit is bananas.

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sarcastic love letter to an MRA

blankslate:

you’re the perfect balance
of edgy and rational

i really admire that look in yr eyes that says,
“i aim to offend equally”

let’s watch south park forever

let’s get matching ayn rand tattoos

let’s turn this shit upside down

Source: blankslate

goldenclitoris:

you may be sad so here is a picture of eminem making nachos

(via quixoticallyidealistic)

blankslate:

i didn’t remember anything until much later in the hospital
                                            when they told me that i couldn’t
                                              sleep or i might die.
i was small for my age,
and the dog was big. it gave
chase and i instinctively began
climbing the nearest tree.

                                                i still have the image of the branch
                                                cracking. it was a sickening sound,
                                                as the world tumbled up. i wonder
                                                if my head made the same noise
                                                 when it cracked against the edge
                                                   of the wall.

i can’t be dreaming. why are all the colors wrong? why am i
standing across the street from my own body? i can’t be dreaming.

a kind neighbor found me
and helped me back to my house.
i didn’t realize how bad it was.

                                      i didn’t realize the white of my skull was visible.
an ambulance ride
a hospital stay
and five staples later
i was home.

i still get migraines.

i still think back to the way i left my body. using google maps and some photo filters, i can approximate with almost 100 percent accuracy
how the world looked to me in that moment. isn’t science wonderful?

                                        if only it could explain
                                        the actual experience.

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tastefullyoffensive:

[via]

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